Change is good.

I have made a big decision. I have done it, and the thing is i have such a peace about it, the minute i decided i felt like it was no big deal, like there really was never a decision to be made at all. these are extremely rare emotions for me to be having.

I think i mentioned before how all along i really wanted to do my associates degree instead of the certificate program i'm in now... well, i went and looked at the schedule with my advisor... and, well, there's no way in hell. i've been praying about it, mostly the money part because it's SO MUCH! i really was confident that God would pull through in some miraculous way like he has been doing and i would be singed on for another year of bliss. but this was not the plan, (probably because God know that i THOUGHT that was the plan and couldn't help from snickering at me when he changed it behind my back) it was never the plan. as i sat in that little cubicle with my my advisor a light bulb went off. i started telling her about how much i wanted to be a food stylist and that there is where my real passion lies. she looked at me and said, "you know, both of your food stylists here at the school don't have a degree at all." and with a twinkle in her eye she excitedly started pulling up class schedules and filling in papers for classes i could add on to make myself better equipped... it was a flurry of satisfying commitment. i signed things, and confirmed things, and made calls to financial aid, hoping to god my loan would cover this. the whole time i just knew that this was perfect... this is what i wanted and i didn't even know it, but i knew it now! i'm so excited i can hardly stand it! i'm now going to be taking a series of intense food photography courses along with all my regular ones, and then after that chocolate and confections since desserts are such a huge photographic field right now.http://www.learnfoodphotography.com/2009/10/11-mouth-watering-dessert-shots-to-make-you-hungry/

God always surprises me.. he knows me better than myself! how can that be?

other than that things have been busy, it's either high or low here. i'm either hardly eating cause i don't have time or money, and running from class to work, and barely sleeping. or i'm lounging on the couch at home, doing homework, eating WAY too much (see, it balances itself out!) and watching netflix on demand, which has now become my best friend. everything still seems to hold onto that bittersweet note i was talking about earlier. never quite whole... i miss mama, i desperately want friends, i love my new life, i miss my old life... all of the above. change is good, change is good, change is good my whistling radiator tells me.