How do i follow that... the never ending question with me and my mama. or should i rephrase, how can i TOP that? there are no boundaries to the chaos that follows us, none. to be fair, there are miracles all mixed up with the the chaos. case in point:
I am going to culinary school. hello! need i say more? if you knew me you would be on your feet applauding right now. I am compulsive, indecisive, have NEVER ever dreamed of being a chef until this day, and most of all, i find it hard to motivate myself into a standing position and finish what i started. most of you are probably navigating away from this page now for fear that some of this will rub off on you... have no fear, I can be other things as well. I am overly passionate, I smile when I don't feel like smiling, and I am driven by a higher calling... thank God. I'm sweet and sour like most people, so don't get too cocky.
When I first decided to go to school, I thought it would be a breeze. it's not of course, its, like mama says, WINDY. I sat down at the computer the last week of October 2009, having stayed up half the night making lemon tartlets, and googled "culinary schools in Chicago Illinois." I clicked on the first one i found and let me warn you, things get a little fast from here. they went a little like this.
Rachael gets an interview with her dream school.
Rachael and Mama drive to Chicago the next week.
Rachael applies that day, and writes her entry essay in the car on the way home.
Rachael gets an acceptance letter in the mail that her mom forgets to give to her.. what the hell?!
Rachael freaks out.
Mama freaks out.
Rachael finds and apartment.
Rachael finds two jobs.
Rachael moves to Chicago three months after the google encounter.
Rachael sits in a pile of boxes, dishes, and Bob Dylan posters and cries.
Rachael misses her mama.
and now Rachael starts a blog.
you are now up to date, and my coffee is cold. i hate that, damn time lines.
In all seriousness, I wish I could tell you how big this is. It's not that I've been sheltered, it's the fact that I have always said, "I wanna be big, I wanna matter..... I want to live." I wanted all this and more, but I didn't know how I would get there. I didn't know what I wanted in life, I didn't even know which doughnut to pick out at the little bakery across the street from our house! It was that bad. I tried allot, almost everything, until I gave up and went to work every day, and came home every night. It was then and only then, after I HAD given up, that God worked his magic. in the silence of me not trying to figure things out, God spoke. God spoke, and He said cook. and did I ever, i cooked everything under the sun! Quiches, wine braised tenderloin, things with three and four layers... I even cut polenta into shapes! I ALWAYS wanted to do that! In cooking I began to feel things again in the tips of my fingers, like I was coming in from the cold. You may think I'm sappy and that cooking has NOTHING to do with spirituality, but I think that there isn't one thing on this earth that God DOESN'T use, me and food being among them.
Call it reckless, call it miraculous..... it may even be a catastrophe by the time I'm done with it, but at least I'm doing something that makes me feel present, alive, and close to God. I'm out of my element for sure... (what the crap is THAT thing he's putting in the pot!?)... but you can be out of something, and IN love with it at the same time. bank on that.
No comments:
Post a Comment