Friday, January 15, 2010

This is today.

"flavor is to food what hue is to color. it is what timbre is to music. each ingredient has it's own particular character, which is altered by every other ingredient it encounters."

Today was my first real day by myself. mama left yesterday and i found myself sitting in an apartment that is mine, a city i now call my own as well, and a pantry full of rice... and other things that are cheap and filling. it's a bazaar feeling to come out from under the umbrella and find that life still goes on, you get soaked by the rain, and snow, and sleet allot more often that's for sure, but on the whole, life goes on! how odd.
I got up, got a huge chunk of studying done, and realized half-way through that if i didn't do something fast i might slit my wrists. ha, i spiral fast and hard people. i said to myself, "self, you WILL NOT let yourself get depressed, i won't let you!" so i suited up (which is what you have to do in Chicago because you walk out your door into a wall of icy hell) and started walking. folks... i walked almost all the way downtown..... I KNOW! i couldn't believe it! of course there were brakes along the way....

I first stopped into "Ann Sathers." now, if you have never been there, i have two words for you. Cinnamon Rolls. the minute you walk in the doors you are soaking up the smell of yeast, coffee, and dishes being washed. there are over sized glittering snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, and the walls are painted with warm yellows and reds. everything about the place calls you in from the cold. this is what you get, the two cinnamon roll special with a cup of coffee, it's cheap, heavenly aaaaaand, Rachael Ray recommends it. what more do you need to know. i studied my head off there, which for me is less like studying, and more like addictive page turning! how wrong is it that i can't wait to do my homework? that's pretty bad right?
stop number two, I walked into a vintage clothing store called "the haystack" that was out of this world. it wasn't the kind of vintage clothing store that people know about. it didn't try too hard, and your not automatically cool if you go to it either. it was piles of dusty, actually vintage amazingness. we're talking poodle skirts, sweater dresses and nylons. i bargained down two tastefully frumpy skirts to $5.00!! proud of me???
next i grabbed my paycheck from work since i had just gotten carried away and walked all the way there anyway, flat out ran for a block to catch the number 36 bus.

oh! did i tell you that i ran into someone i know? i was at the bus stop and i heard someone say my name, i turned around and there was a girl i had met at work. it may not SEEM like that big of a deal, but it was such a comfort to hear my name!
someone in this city knows my name....
i went home and made my own recipe i've been working on for chicken with mushrooms in cream sauce. soooooo good!

in essence, i am going to be ok. i was all by myself today and nothing bad happened. no one attacked me, i didn't go hungry, and even though as i speak i have that sinking feeling in my stomach , i am going to be ok.

but there's always tomorrow for all hell to break loose....

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